Secret Thoughts
by Spuffy57
Summary: Two chapters based on Kartik and Gemma's POV on the night that Kartik got jealous of Simon...How they both truely felt, in my eyes at least.
1. Kartik POV

_This is my first A Great and Terrible Beauty/ Rebel Angels fic. I have written Buffy/Spike ones, but not many. Please be kind and R&R!_

_I do not own any of these character. They belong to Libba Bray._

**Two chapter on both Kartik and Gemma's POV on that night that Gemma met with Simon and Kartik got threw the rocks agaisnt the window. Dont remember? Look on pages 214 & 226-229 of Rebel Angels.**

_**ENJOY!**_

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I saw her step out of her home in a blue dress. She looks beautiful, as she always does. Tonight, however, I see her as more than the key to the Temple. She throws me accessional glances and I cant help, but be awe-stricken by her. I help her into the carriage and she slightly smirks at me. 

I watch her intently as she steps out of the carriage. I take her hand, helping her off the carriage. Our eyes meet and I feel her falling. I reach out and grab her around the waist, before she hits the ground.

"Steady there, Miss Doyle," I say to her in a shaky voice. After helping her to her feet she looks up at me. "Yes, thank you, Mr. Kartik." I continue to stare into her eyes and Mr. Doyle says something about me, but imso lost in Gemma that I do not hear it. Her father leads her into the house. She looks back me and gives me a shy smile.

I see them now. Gemma and Simon. He took her into the library, alone. They both reach to grab her fallen hair pin. Their fingers touch and their gaze meets. My jaw clenches and a growl builds deep in my throat.

His hand doesn't leave her hair. He has no right to touch her golden hair! I storm towards the house with stones in hand. I throw a stone and it lightly taps the window. The image of him touching her causes me to throw the other stone will all the force I can manage. I see her jump at the noise and then later exit the room.

She walks out to the carriage alone. She looks like she is glowing. I love her like this until I remember she is smiling for him not I. "A pleasant evening, miss?" I choke out.

"Yes, _very_ pleasant." she says as I help her into the carriage.

"So noted," I mutter.

Hours pass, as I sit here with Emily teaching her to read. Gemma enters the room and my stomach clenches. "Good evening." she says marching in the stable.

"Good evening." I say while standing. Emily leaves and we are left looking at each other.

"What did you mean by your comment tonight?" she asks looking at me, with her arms folded.

"I simply asked if you had a pleasant evening. With Mr. Muddleton." I say.

"Middleton," she corrects me. "He is a gentleman, you know?"

I scoff at this. "He looks like a fop."

"I'll thank you not to insult him. You know nothing about him." I don't need to know! I saw the way he looked at _my _Gemma. "I don't like the way he looks at you. As if you were a piece of ripe fruit." I spit the words at her.

"He does nothing of the sort! Wait a moment. How do you know how he looks at me? Were spying on me?" Uh oh. She is standing up. I burry my nose into a book and murmur, "He did look at you that way. In the library."

"You threw those rocks against the window!" It's a statement, not a question.

"_You_ let him touch your hair!"

She looks at her feet, obviously embarrassed. "I do have something to tell you, if you can stop feeling sorry for yourself long enough to hear it." I scoff at her, yet again.

"I'm not feeling sorry for myself." She glances at me, clearly angry. Is it wrong that I think she looks adorable when she is angry with me? "A good night to you, then." Wait, I cant look at her if she leaves.

"Wait!" I belch out to her. She's gloating. It's attractive on her. "I'm sorry. I promise to be on my very best behavior," I say falling to my knees dramatically. I look around and grab and acorn. "I beg of you, Miss Doyle. Tell me or I shall be forced to kill myself with this mighty weapon."

"Oh do get up," she says but I hear her laugh, and it's the best sound I have ever heard. "Tom has a patient at Bethlem. Nell Hawkins. He says she suffers from delusions." Ah, of course. Back to talking about Circe and The Order.

"That would explain her confinement in Bethlem." I say giving her a smug smile. She just glares at me. "Sorry. Please go on." I could kick myself for my stupidity.

"She claims she's a member of the Order, and that a women names Circe is trying to find her. She say she's driven herself mad to keep Circe from getting to her."

"You must see Nell Hawkins straightaway." I say, quickly

"Yes, I've arranged it already. Tomorrow, around noon, I shall read poetry to Nell Hawkins and to find out what she knows about the temple. Was he really looking at me that way?" she asks me.

I know perfectly what she is talking about. "What way?" I lie.

"Like a piece of ripe fruit?"

"You'd best be on you guard with him," I say to her, my voice shaken from anger. Simon...that bastard! Gemma looks at me confused and then I see a smile cross her beautiful face.

"I am quite able to look after myself." she says and turns around quickly. I watch her hit her head on the wall. Oh yes she is taking great care of herself. My poor Gemma. I do hope she is alright. "Gemma! Are you alright..."

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_Next chaper coming shortly...Gemma's POV! Please R&R!_


	2. Gemma POV

_Thanks for the reviews!! Sorry it took so long for the last part! I got really into writing RENT fanfic and didn't update this one as soon as i had planned to. I hope you enjoy it! Gemma's POV!_

_ Libba Bray own Rebel Angels, i do not._

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I look at the mansion where my father's carriage has stopped next to. I do not tare my gaze from the house even when Kartik takes my hand to help my down, despite the tingling feeling I get when he touched me. My foot catches the front my dress and I feel myself falling.

I gasp and Kartik grabs my around the waist. I'm in his embrace and I look into his dark brown eyes. We stare at each other for longer then necessary.

"Steady there, Miss Doyle." He says, helping me to my feet. I look at my father and bother and mutter, "Yes, thank you, Mr. Kartik."

My eyes returns to Kartik's. I see him staring at me in wonder, as if I am a different person all together. Father takes my arm leading me to the door. I sigh and look away from Kartik. I wish I could just stay out here with him, despite the freezing cold air. I can feel his eyes still on me as I walk inside. I look at father and smile at his appearance.

"You look very handsome, Papa." I say.

His eyes brighten and he smiles. "Smoke and mirrors." he says while winking at me. "Smoke and mirrors."

Some time later Simon and myself are in the library, where we are alone.

"Your flower is slipping, Miss Doyle." The rose in my hair slides down to my neck. We both reach for it. Our hands meet and I blush. I look away from him. Now this is realistic. I can really be with Simon. Kartik and I could never be together. To Kartik I am just away into the realms!

"Thank you." I say quietly.

"May I?" Carefully Simon secures the flower behind my ear. I should probably stop him. He may get the wrong idea of me. But I don't. Simon is 9 years older then myself. I'm sure he knows what is proper and what is not.

I hear a light tap at the window. I look and see nothing there. Then I hear a loud tap at the window that sounded as if could crack the delicate glass. I jump and stare at the window again.

"Who is throwing rocks?" Simon says sounding aggravated and he looks out the window. We both do not see anyone.

"I should join the ladies. Grandmama will be worried about me." I say, slightly disappointed that the moment between us has passed.

We say our goodbyes. I smile and think of the security I could gain by being with Simon.

I see Kartik standing next to the carriage. He has scowl plastered on his beautiful face. "A pleasant evening, miss?"

"Yes, very pleasant, thank you." I say happily. He helps me into the carriage and prepares to head home.

"So noted." he mutters.

Once my family is tucked away in bed I storm into the stables where Kartik reading The Odyssey. Emily is sitting near him listening to him read.

"Good evening," I say sternly.

"Good evening," he says and stands.

Emily looks lightly panicked. "Oh, miss, I was just.. just.."

"Emily, I have some business to discuss with Mr. Kartik, just now, if you wouldn't mind."

She practically runs out of the stable and I am left with Kartik. "What did you mean by your comment tonight?"

"I simply asked if you ad a pleasant evening with Mr. Muddleton."

"Middleton," I immediately correct him. "He is a gentleman, you know." I say quickly.

Kartik scoffs and says "He looks like a fop."

I frown at him. Why does Kartik have a problem with Simon? "I'll thank you not to insult him. You know nothing about him."

Kartik kicks some dirt on the ground and looks at his feet. "I don't like the way he looks at you. As if you were a piece of ripe fruit."

My mouth hangs open. "He does nothing of the sort. Wait a moment. How do you know how he looks at me? Were you spying on me?" I ask Kartik slyly.

Kartik opens his mouth to say something and then buries his nose in his book. "He did look at you that way. In the library."

"You threw those rocks against the window!"

Kartik jumps to his feet. "You aloud him to touch you hair!" I sigh. It's true. That was very unlady like of me. I feel ashamed but I wont show it in front of Kartik.

"I do have something to tell you, if you can stop feeling sorry for yourself long enough to hear it."

"I am not feeling sorry for myself." he grumbles.

I make for a dramatic exit and say, "A goodnight to you, then."

"Wait!" Kartik walks towards me. "I'm sorry. I promise to be on my best behavior," he says. He dramatically falls to his knees and picks up and acorn, holding it next to his neck. "I beg of you Miss Doyle. Tell me or I shall be forced to kill myself with this mighty weapon."

I laugh and say, "Oh do get up," Kartik rises to his feet and I look into his dark brown, almost black eyes. "Tom has a patient at Bethlem. Nell Hawkins. He says she suffers from delusions."

"That would explain her confinement in Bethlem," Kartik says, smiling. I don't find it humorous so I don't return the smile. "Sorry. Please go on." he says looking ashamed.

"She claims she's a member of the order and that a women named Circe is trying to find her. She says she's driven herself mad to keep Circe from getting to her."

His smug smile vanishes from his handsome face. "You must see Nell Hawkins straightaway." He's back to business.

"Yes, I've arranged it already. Tomorrow around noon I shall read poetry to Nell Hawkins and find out what she knows about the temple. Was he really looking at me that way?" I say drifting back to the thought of Simon.

"What way?"

"Like a piece of ripe fruit?"

Kartik frowns. "You'd best be on your guard around him." I watch Kartik's body stiffen. He's jealous! Kartik is jealous of Simon! And Simon finds me delicious? I've never felt so giddy.

"I'm quite able to look after myself," I say. I turn and walk directly into the wall. Kartik says something but I'm too humiliated to make out what it is.


End file.
